Well it has been almost a whole year since my last journal entry. I am not sure where to start. So I suppose that I might just jump right to the punch.
In September 2016 I was diagnosed with systemic lupus erythematosus. It is an autoimmune disease and has been the reason for my absence. In short Lupus is basically when your immune system (which is supposed to be used to fight off infections) doesn't work right. My immune system confuses healthy cells with invaders and my body attacks itself. I get severe lupus arthritis from this and the pain is extremely taxing on my body. In the summer I got the worst flare up I have ever had in my life. It was the most pain I have ever endured and it seemed to go on forever. Before this I had always believed that my everyday pain was a normal thing but not I have learned it is my lupus. For a while cardiologists thought I had Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (which causes fainting and heat intolerance etc.) but my results were inconclusive. I now know that I actually have Lupus and it can cause symptoms that are a lot like POTS. But among all the struggle and heartbreak trying to adapt to my new life there are positive things about this whole situation. I now have a diagnosis and thus I am receiving the right treatment finally. Also, my Lupus (as of right now) is only affecting my joints and muscles mostly. Lupus can kill but I am very fortunate that mine isn't hurting anything vital as of right now. I've got to change a lot of things in my life. There are many things that I can no longer do and the road ahead will be difficult. Its a lot to grapple with but I will continue to push on like I always do. And I hope in the future I can get back to doing the things I love, writing stories and making creative things. But for now I'm learning patience and how not to be hard on myself. As always try your best every single day and don't ever give up!