Kievius

Hey guys! So I started a YouTube channel! I'm making videos about Figure Skating, Anime and Cosplay. I'm hoping to use this as a way to force myself to get back into skating and in turn also help to keep my Lupus on it's toes. It's May 1st and so it is now Lupus Awareness month. My thoughts go out to all those struggling with this life long disease. Don't ever give up!

But yeah please tune into my YouTube channel I will be upoading videos every week!

Here's the link to my channel! And don't forget to subscribe :3

www.youtube.com/channel/UCYFDD…

Heyya! Today marks exactly one year to the date that I got diagnosed with Lupus. I've been very in active because of it. But after a full year of testing, medication trials and lifestyle changes I am finally starting to get the hang of this whole being sick thing. I sure have learned a whole lot about myself this past year. I am finally starting to get some drive back and want to start being creative again! I had some struggles with medications especially and finding the right ones that work for me. One that did not work for me was the antidepressant that I have been on for over a year. I was originally put on it to help mentally deal with my chronic pain but that meant sacrificing something I know now is really important, my mind. I was put on Cymbalta for pain management and coming off of it I am finally seeing how zombiafied that drug made me. Which was part of the reason why I had not wanted to make anything or even do anything this past year.
Its amazing what medication can do to you. Now Cymbalta can really help other people but for me I was taking it for pain management not depression so it just turned out it wasn't a good fit for me personally.  But the sacrifice is I feel more pain now but I'm going back to my roots and toughing it out and just trying to keep a positive attitude and keep pushing through! This presents some challenges however. My arthritis is so bad I have a lot of trouble drawing and holding pencils etc but like I said I am trying to tough it out for the sake of art! And I hope to be posting stuff real soon!

Well it has been almost a whole year since my last journal entry. I am not sure where to start. So I suppose that I might just jump right to the punch.

In September 2016 I was diagnosed with systemic lupus erythematosus. It is an autoimmune disease and has been the reason for my absence. In short Lupus is basically when your immune system (which is supposed to be used to fight off infections) doesn't work right. My immune system confuses healthy cells with invaders and my body attacks itself. I get severe lupus arthritis from this and the pain is extremely taxing on my body. In the summer I got the worst flare up I have ever had in my life. It was the most pain I have ever endured and it seemed to go on forever. Before this I had always believed that my everyday pain was a normal thing but not I have learned it is my lupus. For a while cardiologists thought I had Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (which causes fainting and heat intolerance etc.) but my results were inconclusive. I now know that I actually have Lupus and it can cause symptoms that are a lot like POTS. But among all the struggle and heartbreak trying to adapt to my new life there are positive things about this whole situation. I now have a diagnosis and thus I am receiving the right treatment finally. Also, my Lupus (as of right now) is only affecting my joints and muscles mostly. Lupus can kill but I am very fortunate that mine isn't hurting anything vital as of right now. I've got to change a lot of things in my life. There are many things that I can no longer do and the road ahead will be difficult. Its a lot to grapple with but I will continue to push on like I always do. And I hope in the future I can get back to doing the things I love, writing stories and making creative things. But for now I'm learning patience and how not to be hard on myself. As always try your best every single day and don't ever give up!

Kievius